school jokes for adults

Then, the teacher called on little Johnny. A: School still sucks!

Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to the test with a $100 bill underneath, “one dollar per point please” the note said. "Yes," he answered. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

"The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker!

"Well, just wait a minute," said Mr. Johnson. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. Comedy Central: School Jokes 2.

The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?” “You know”, the son explains, “when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!”, 12. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Reader’s Digest: Funny Jokes About School Wet. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. Funny can be good: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began.

Will that be okay?"

Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. School Paper John wrote an article in the school paper about how this chemical, dihydrogenoxide, has killed over 100,000 people world wide, usually through inhalation.

19. The bell rang for school to start and Johnny walked in late. Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. “That’s easy,” says Johnny.

Boy: Me!

“Would you…study?”, 18.

You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. Teacher: who just threw that?! But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. 59. "So, everyone knows that he was the first president." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. A retired man purchased a home near a high school.

Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" I’m going home now. Mother: “Why?” Son: “Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2.”, 9.

', and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you."

A: Twinkie.

A: Because he/she was going to high school! At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, “You have exactly 2 hours. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. Don't come to class for the next 1 week. Teacher: "Why did you laugh?" I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me.

Q: What’s the difference between a dead prostitute and school? Returning visitor? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog.

But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. And third, you’re in for a BIG disappointment.”, 13. Q: Ever had sex while camping? The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. Teacher received the following letter from one of her students’ parents: “Harry is sorry he didn’t do his homework last night. Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe? P.S. The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months."

God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess.

The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?” Jimmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!

Ever. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully, he said. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?"

A father who is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school.

After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He’s getting “A”s in math. The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. A: It grew square roots. Teacher: "Get out! "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'".

60.

Don't come to class for next 1 month."

As a 7th grade biology teacher, I was teaching my class about the flow of blood in the body. Boy: Me!

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

"That's it?" This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

Stopping them, he said: "You kids are a lot of fun. A: He wanted to see time fly.

", Little Johnny was doing his math homework. The student puffs up his chest and says: “Great,” says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack. One day a boy comes home from school and says, "Dad I need to know the meaning of hypothetically and realistically for school." Send us a message.

Love, your son, Joshua.

"The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?'

No way, mister. Teacher: "Get out!

She follows him out. Father: "What's the fucking difference?" Teacher: ‘Why are you talking during my lesson?’ Student: ‘Why are you teaching during my conversation?’. Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky.

He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one.

Johnny was at school and the teacher said, “Someone use fascinate in a sentence.”, Sally answered, “The zoo was fascinating.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence.”, Maria suggested, “I was fascinated at the zoo.” Once again the teacher said, “No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence.”, Johnny said, “My sister has ten buttons on her sweater.” Again the teacher said, “Sorry, Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence.” Johnny replied, “I know, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.”. It was addressed, 'Dad'. “Anything? Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

the mother asked. Q: What happened to the plant in math class? “It’s the pupil of the eye.” “Very good, Johnny,” responds the teacher.

"Wait, wait," said Mr. Johnson. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

They would thank you. Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them.

She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it."

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. ?” “Absolutely anything.” His voice turns to a whisper.

58. Then the teacher asked April a third question. '”, 16.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. One boy throws his bag out the window. Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." That's his third bear this week.

To make it stand u wet it.

He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. Returning visitor? "Now, class.

If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" A: You spread its little legs.

He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." "Look," he said, "I haven't received my payment yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. But of course the jokes are very funny, so you might not be able to control your laughter. She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. Teacher: ‘How can we keep the school clean?’ Student: ‘By staying at home.’, 2.

6. shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. Another boy laughs..."

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, “Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Don’t use them at work or around children.

Liked these funny school jokes? One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." They are the best you will find. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. A Teacher was once giving a big test. The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" I’m going home now.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 14. "Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that," said Johnny.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra." To get it in, u push … The kids were obviously unimpressed but they accepted the reduction in payment and continued their afternoon activities. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?"

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

", Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

", So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." Johnny: "With what I saw I think my school days are over. “That’s correct.” She then turns to Flora and says, “First, you didn’t do your homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. We quit!" The Teacher fainted.

Father: "But that's right!"

I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing".

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" 4. Related Links You May Enjoy: 1.

Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear.

", So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!

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